Last night was a hard night for all 3 of the kids. They were restless and cranky but could not really stay asleep. My daughter has issues with sleeping anyway that we'll be getting checked out soon. She also has night terrors, which I've read can be caused by lack of sleep. We actually got the kids down a little early last night since they did not sleep at nap time. They both went to sleep almost immediately and even the baby drifted off shortly after. Joe and I went outside to work on our vegetable garden. Some of our cucumbers didn't make it through the cold rain we had all last week and Joe bought new ones and some eggplant so with what was left of daylight, he planted the new plants while I pulled weeds and tied up some of the tomato plants with twine.
When we came back in, the baby was awake. While I washed my hands, Joe went out to take the trash and recycling around to the front. I heard Angelina stir and whimper and went quickly to her bed to try to evade a full-out night terror episode as has often been done before by getting to her at the first sign of her waking in a tumultuous fashion and calming her down with soothing reassurance that everything is fine. At first, I thought I had her calmed down but all of the sudden, she bolted upright and started screaming for her daddy and kept pointing at nothing and saying 'no.' This is very alarming every single time it happens, for many reasons. I took her outside to sit and watch her daddy finish bringing the trash down but she just screamed and screamed so we took her back inside. The episode went on for about 25 minutes, complete with hitting, high-pitched screams and running around, basically acting crazy.
By this time, Aidan was awake crying like a banshee so we got him up, too. I was sitting on the couch nursing Bella and Aidan was sitting with his daddy while Angel was in the bathroom, having calmed down completely after getting a juice box. After a little bit, Aidan wanted to sit with me so he snuggled close to Bella and me and fought sleep for only about 10 minutes more. By this time, Angel had come back out and was also falling asleep in the recliner with her daddy. Bella had nodded off once her belly was full.
I stroked Aidan's hair and soothed him with shoooshing sounds as he finally drifted off into slumber as well. As I sat there, I thought about the fact that I can't remember the last time my little boy fell asleep on me and figured it must've been when he was Bella's age or only slightly older. I relished the moments with my two younger babies sprawled on me sleeping soundlessly, and I breathed in their innocence and peacefulness, aching for this time to never end. I watched as Angelina slipped into a soundless sleep, snuggled against her daddy and we whispered to each other about our beautiful babies.
I couldn't help but think selfish thoughts of them being mine just for those minutes in the late hour of the night, how blessed I was to be their mother, how I might just be the luckiest person in the world. I thought about God and how He must feel, watching all of His billions of children sleep, aching over the hardships in their life, wanting to be closer to the ones who don't know Him, planning for each and every one of our lives. In those moments of quiet in the house that we sat with our sleeping babies, I came just a small step closer to understanding the love God has for every single one of His children and in that time, I also came to love my husband and my children just that much more.