Children are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one's youth. Blessed are they whose quivers are full. They will never be shamed contending with foes at the gate. ~Psalm 127:3-5

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Growing Where I'm Planted

I wrote in the book I'm working on about learning to grow where I'm planted. This idea was written several years ago, just before I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. I have not really revisited that thought in awhile and as life has changed so drastically since then, I'm not too sure I've really been keeping up with that idea at all. I don't really find it very easy to do so when I'm always dreaming of going 'home.'

Since Joe and I moved to Pennsylvania, I've been kind of unhappy. I remember the first few months we lived here, I would make trips to Maryland several times a week because I was so home-sick and missed the company of my family. I was unaware of the money I was wasting in gas, though back then the price for gas was a lot lower than it is these days. I was also unaware of the fact that I was missing out on so much of life by returning to my comfort zone (Frederick, the company of my family, the house I grew up in) all those times in one week.

We have now been in Pennsylvania for almost 2 years and I am just starting to feel like I'm taking root. I still want these roots to be sort of shallow, as I so desperately want to move home sometime in the next few years. But I'm OK with them being deeper than I initially planned and I'm almost OK with it not being soon that we move back. The past few months of the warm weather has helped me along in my process. With the onset of Spring, when nature started to come alive again, I felt a stirring in my heart to slow myself enough to really take notice. Slowing myself in this case was not about doing less or not rushing from point A to point B. It was slowing my thought process, the plans I made in my head of when and how we were going to move home, what I wanted for my future away from here. It was living each day with my heart and mind in Pennsylvania, in my home here, not in Maryland and what I was missing there.

As I have been more aware of the fact that God puts us where He wants us at different points in our lives, I have also been more aware of the little garden He has me planted in right now. As more and more compliments of how beautiful my home and my yard look filter in through friends and family, I am more appreciative of what He has given us. All I have thought of for the past year and a half is how much I hate it here and how there's nothing good about Pennsylvania. I was blind to the blessings He has given us since we've been living here. (And that includes much more than our house and yard.) But as I am noticing these things through the help of others in my life, I am seeing not their insignificance and reasons to want to leave but their enormous potential for reasons I should stay. After all, this is my home, here in Pennsylvania. At least for now.

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