Monday, December 1, 2008
Psalm 127:3 talks about children being a gift from the Lord. I often ask myself 'who am I to turn down such a gift?' Our children are little human beings that will grow up to be adult human beings, the future generations for this world. God entrusted some to me. They are priceless treasures, like little rare diamonds. And motherhood is like housing a treasure worth more than you can imagine, like The Heart of Eternity - a very rare colored diamond with an estimated value of $16 million.
It's like that but so much more.
I feel like there have been tons of posts on here that visit the ever-important subject of having children- particularly more, taking care of them myself, etc. There have been these posts that state that I just don't know what I want, and ones where I even state I might actually want more. Then there are the ones where I very clearly state that I know I am meant to have more. This post is about the inevitability of such an event coming to fruition.
Psalm 127 goes on with vs. 4-5 with 'like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in ones youth. Blessed are they whose quivers are full.....' I took a test yesterday morning after much debate. I had no real thoughts that I was pregnant, just that I might be, from the way I've been feeling. But I could also have attributed that to my medication or my seizures. I just felt off; like pregnancy off. So I took the test. It was positive...
To be sure, I took another one this morning.
But rather than write about how it makes me feel emotionally, how stressed I am or even how my husband has been almost angry about it (as if I'm the only one involved in that scenario), I'd rather write once again about the difference between the worldly view and the Catholic view of babies.
Now, I'd first like to say that I'm not an idiot. I don't think that I should have a shoe-full of kids that I don't know what to do with, just to have them, or just because I want them (especially because I really don't want a lot of kids) or any of those reasons that people sometimes give without thinking about the implications first. I would like to say- once again- that I do want what God wants. If God wants me to 'be fruitful and multiply', then I guess I will. (A lot to me is like 7 or 8 anyway....)
The world looks at children as something that you allow in your life only if you have the money, only if you're ready, only if you can take 5 seconds out of your life to have a planned c-section with lots of drugs and then go back to work 2 days later. (OK, I'm exaggerating a little on that last one but there is much truth to the foundation of that idea.) My mom was saying that the world is always talking about how it costs something like $285,000 to raise a child. I do remember reading that somewhere. But my question is...so what? Why is the world always talking about money?
Some people have told us it's impractical and irresponsible to have more kids than we can 'afford,' that if we didn't have 'so many', we could be doing things we want to do and I could be going to work, etc. This is the worldly way of looking at things. The world views life as all about "me," doing whatever feels good and makes "me" happy. But life should not revolve around us. It should revolve around God's will for us and our obedience to that will. Also, I've said this before but I'll say it again. .. I am working! All day; every day. Except I don't get breaks. I don't even get paid. There is no clocking out at the end of the day. There are no weekend vacations. So I really get upset when anyone says that I should be going out into the world to work because I know that it's just about valuing the almighty dollar more than valuing the little hearts of children and the work I do by taking care of mine.
And dare I say that it does make me feel good to raise children?? It makes me very happy to have children and do whatever I can to help them grow up to be what God wants them to be. It doesn't occur to the negative people telling me all those things that I might actually enjoy my children! How funny....and how sad. The world definitely has missed the mark on the importance of children and God's will for them in our lives.
The times we are facing right now with the economy are hard. People are worried about money and the security of their future and all of that stuff. It's hard to remember the fact that God is in control. It's hard to even know any speck of that fact when you just don't believe in Him at all. For Christians, however, our faith lies in remembering that His plans are not our plans and whatever is going on in the world right now is nothing to bear when we have the security we can find in Him. It's amazing to me how many people invest so much in the stock market and very little in their children. They don't see these little gems as stability for the future so they just don't try. It's hard when you can't put a price on something, I sort of understand that. But I see their value and it has nothing to do with money.
So now I'm taking on growing, birthing and nurturing another little heart for God. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm very overwhelmed. But I know that by allowing my womb to be open to God's plans, I am pleasing Him. This baby may not be one of the rarest diamonds in the world, but I believe she is a unique and priceless treasure entrusted to me for God's purposes. And that definitely makes her a heart of eternity.