Children are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one's youth. Blessed are they whose quivers are full. They will never be shamed contending with foes at the gate. ~Psalm 127:3-5

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Ah, Summer Camp!

A few months ago, hubby and I decided to send our little monsters to a two-day-a-week Christian summer camp starting late-June. Our three oldest would attend and I would get two mornings out of the week to spend in what I hoped would be quiet bliss! I would still have my baby but she naps most mornings and I was in heaven dreaming of the quiet and space I would have; my time spent writing, praying, maybe even napping, while I relaxed on the fringe of total spoil.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children. I love their company and I even love their dependence on me, however insistent and "inconvenient" it might seem at times. After all, I am a mother. Their mother. And I love every minute of it, even the difficult ones. But I also love peace and standing still for a minute, and I love being in a thick silence in the mornings after I drop them off, something I haven't had the pleasure of drowning in for quite some time.

Also, hubby and I made the decision that we would try to spend some good quality time together on these mornings, unless he had a job or work he couldn't possibly get out of. His self-made schedule is very flexible and it allows for such pleasures as going out to breakfast with only a complacent baby to tend to, taking drives searching out land to dream about, having an entire conversation without being interrupted 50 million times....and the best part, being free to be who we are when we're not playing the role of parents with every aspect of our beings. We get to enjoy each other's company and revisit the aspects of our identities we kind of had to push to the back burners as we began our lives together as parents.

Not only that, but I get to miss my kids. And I do. Having them away from me, doing something I know will only enrich their childhood, is good for them but it's also good for me. When I am feeling suffocated by the weight of my role as a mother, my daily duties, my fears and struggles, my frequent inability to be patient and loving, it is hard to see their value and to see what their roles in my life mean. It is hard to really appreciate them as little human beings that will grow up to be servants of God. But a small break, even just two mornings a week, allows me the time to ponder all that I am as their mother (which I do; it's not just bon bons and bubble baths while they're gone!), and it allows me to focus on really cherishing every minute with them. It helps me to recharge a little, grow a little, and find the strength I will need to take on the next disaster which will inevitably happen the second they get in the car when I go to pick them up!


Colleen said...

definitely feelings all mothers should be able to relate too!! well said! :)

Rebecca said...

Thanks, Colleen! I try to be open and honest about how I feel as a mother, because I think that is the best way to reach out to other moms.
Have you become a follower yet? ;-)