I have HAD IT! I can't stand my six year old arguing with me about EVERYTHING! I don't understand why she can't just accept a 'NO' and say 'OK' and leave it at that or even just walk away. I just DON'T GET IT and I'm about 2 inches from going off the ledge into crazy land. I can't stand it anymore!! Who does she think she is?? WHY does she feel the need to question everything I say to her? Is it the age? Well, no, because she's done this her entire short little life. Is it me? Am I a push- over and have I let her get away with it for way too long??
I just got angry with her for asking me yet again 'why?' when I told her 'no!' to something. I got in her face and said "when are you going to just accept that I say no and not ask me why? WHEN???!!!" As soon as she left the room, I felt awful. No, the moment we were in that exchange I felt awful. But I don't know how to react in a normal way anymore. I used to be patient. I used to just ignore her arguments or give her an honest reason for my saying no. But as she got older and it occurred more often, I just kept getting angry. The truth is, I don't even know what to say to this. I don't know how to explain to her the wrongness and disrespect in her questioning me that way. I want to be that really patient mama who knows all the right things to say to guide her children's hearts and help them learn to be content with whatever. I want her to just accept things I say and not question me about them. But she doesn't. And I don't know what to say to that. I don't know because I am the same freaking way.
I don't like to just accept things. I want to know the 'why' about everything. And to an extent, it's a good thing. But when it comes to stuff like this, the authority of a parent or higher authority (i.e. God), there is no questioning. It's disrespectful. Especially if the parent tells the child to do something and instead of doing it, they just ask why they have to, or do the total opposite of what the parent says.
I think about my obedience to the Church and how along my way, I have questioned a lot of the reasons we do certain things. But it's been out of a trying-to-understand perspective, not from a defiant stance. I think it is very important to understand the reasoning behind things in order to be able to obey. But in all things, there is a time and place for obedience first and questioning later. For awhile I struggled with this when it came to procreation. But the entire time, I obeyed what the Church teaches and when I finally came to the understanding of WHY the Church teaches what she does about procreation, I rejoiced in the fact that I obeyed first and then sought the answer to 'why?'.
I think I'd be a little more calm about this whole thing if Angelina would just walk away or do what I say and then later come to me and ask me, if she must know, why I made a certain request or decision. If she's curious and wants to understand, that's one thing but total defiance of what I am saying is a completely different thing. I'm tired of it. It zaps way more energy from me to battle this sort of thing than to just figure out what the right thing for me to do in this situation is, and do it. It's like I know the answer, I just don't know how to articulate it to a stubborn 6 year old who thinks everything I say doesn't apply to her. I cringe at the idea of having to explain to her why God created sex for marriage in a way she will accept, especially in a world that teaches the exact opposite. This whole 'why she can't have anymore food after the large lunch I just served' scenario seems like such small potatoes compared to that. *shudder*
So, along the path of God's design for our relationship with our children, of teaching them to have hearts for Him and following His will for their life, what say you, all you wise mamas out there, about this situation? What do I tell my Angelina (and the others) about the proper way to react to a response or situation they don't like or don't understand, especially when it comes to my authority? What is a good way to articulate the reasoning behind them reacting in a positive way instead of negatively? I know there are tons of Bible verses about this. The commandment to honor they father and mother is a great starting point, I'm sure. But at this age, I have to explain what that means and WHY! Is 'because God says so!' a legitimate answer for a child this young?
A little help?! Thanks!