Children are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one's youth. Blessed are they whose quivers are full. They will never be shamed contending with foes at the gate. ~Psalm 127:3-5

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Since I've Been Gone..

In the months since I've stepped away from my blog, a lot has happened.  There are many changes on the horizon of my life, some of which I cannot talk about quite yet.  But there have also been many changes I've already undergone.

Stepping away from this blog was probably the best thing I could've done for myself.  It was a pivotal decision, listening to that whispering from the Lord to take a break, not because it was stressful or because it took too much of my time, but because it took a part of me that He wanted.  In the last few months, He has shown me many things about myself.  Things I didn't like.  Things I wanted to not be true.  Things I did like.  Things He wanted to change, whether I liked them or not.

At the same time I was being shown these things and taking a break from my blog, I was being shown some things about the blog itself that also needed to change.  Though I have always tried to maintain my blog as a place for others to gain information and insight, to find empathy and hopefully a morsel of encouragement, there have been times when I haven't really lived up to my own ideals for this blog.  And probably not God's much either.  The thing is, sometimes, I just don't know how to filter.  Sometimes, I don't know what's appropriate. Sometimes, I don't know how to follow my instincts.

So, in this time, I've been in a process.  And really, it's been a process throughout the past few years, but especially the last few months.  There have been many things that have transpired over the last year that have caused me to really think about life and who I am and what God is asking of me in this time.  The last few months of focusing more on all of that specifically has caused me to go through a pruning process.  I have learned to let go of a lot and though much of this pruning has been quite painful, it has also been fruitful.

I would like to address the nature of my blog.  Though I will continue to post about my life, particularly mothering my children, I've had a revelation about the word "mothering."  As God has called me to be the actual life-giving mother of the five I have, the one in my womb, plus however many more He blesses me with, I have also been shepherded into a new position of "mothering."  It's actually not something I sought out, and I am still very fearful of it.  But tiny little buds have been blooming over the time since I have been being pruned, and they seem to be growing in this direction.  It seems I have been asked to "mother" - or nurture - other people, more of God's children,  particularly women, girls, my age or younger, who need a bit of direction or some encouragement in their life.

So, Mothering God's Children will be about that as well.  About helping others to find their purpose, their path.  Helping them discover their soul's worth and value as God the Father has created it to be.  I once was told I can't "save" people.  Boy do I know that!  I would never even presume to think such a thing about myself.  That's not my job.  My job is to do what God asks me to do, whether I want to or not.  Right now, in the moments I am able to dedicate to it, He wants me to start down this road of helping others.  I honestly don't think it's going to be one of those well-known, big to-do ventures like other women are capable of handling.  I'm a behind-the-scenes type of girl.  Always have been.  I don't like the spot light, I shy from compliments.  I just want to do what the Lord asks me to do and I can only pray I do it well enough for Him.  Even if He sends just one or two people to me, I'm blessed and humbled to be given the opportunity to serve them, and Him, in this capacity.

Please pray for me on my journey, and if you have prayer requests, please shoot me an email with them.  I'd love to pray for you. Thanks!